Found this interesting, entertaining and IMO quite pragmatic tex by unknown author:
The Ten Dirty Secrets of Getting Enlightened
Why dirty secrets?
Simple, because we never attract towards anything that is sober and decent.
Dirty is attractive, dirty is appealing, and dirty may be dangerous.
There is great appeal for sex and meditation since the beginning of the universe.
I answered why dirty..
Now why ten?
Why ten dirty secrets?
Why not twenty or hundred?
I dont know.
I like ten..
It seems like Ten Commandments of Jesus, thats why Ten.
Who knows people may know me for centuries for my Ten Dirty Secrets of Getting Enlightened.
Who knows?
Anyway,
Meditation is dangerous. Meditation may bring you to the point where there is nothing good or bad. It may wash out whatsoever you have earned through lots of hard work, and education. You may find that your securities are in fact insecurities. And the relationships and love you are clinging right now are in fact your insecurities and escape form loneliness.
You may lose your identity, and persona.
From centuries meditation is considered as something arduous and sacred. And that keeps everyone away from meditation. For these people meditation is going away from society, and to become a monk.
Renounce. Give up.
But it is very coward to run away from the society. Actually society is a test.
Only in this big madhouse your abilities can be test and you can find your center. Or you may find that there is no center at all!
Otherwise how will you know that you become a Buddha?
Even a Buddha has to come back to society. So why leave society in the first place?
I don't think it's essential to apologize for my good English as I am not here to teach you English.
One more thing that is of course NOT very much essential to mention here, that this book has no copyright. You can use it, misuse it or claim as your own, I.ll not mind, because I don't have mind.
And don't take me responsible if you lose your original track of Sadhna or what
you may think as Mediation.
SECRET ONE: Kill your guru
Kill your guru!
Drop your master.
Yes! That's right.
This is the biggest lesson one can ever learn. It doesn't matter how much your guru is wise or enlightened, his light is not going to help you to become enlightened. Guru is your ultimate safety but enlightenment is RUNNING FROM SAFETY.
You are not enlightened as long as you are a follower and dependent.
One is confused and following different gurus. It creates more confusion.
Get clear.
Nobody is going to clean your shit.
You are not going to understand a Buddha, because you are listening to him through YOUR conditioning, your past experiences, concepts and confusion.
Clarity and order is Meditation.
Do not bother what masters are telling; first look deep within the mess and chaos you have created. Look into the mind; watch it and you will find clarity of perception.
That perception which is free from all prejudices and concepts is your real guru.
Of course in the end you are NOT going to find out ENLIGHTENMENT!
But I don't want to make you disappoint and upset right now.
Otherwise you are not going to read this book seriously and thoroughly.
Don't you?
Well...
SECREAT TWO: Burn all scriptures
Burn all scriptures!
Burn all books and knowledge!
It is enough reason to burn them all that you are NOT enlightened yet, after reading all this holy shit since thousands of years.
This borrowed knowledge is the source of your confusion and as long as you are dependent on this knowledge you will remain dumb ass.
Books and borrowed knowledge is your shelter and safety. You are repeating and quoting endlessly and shamelessly others. And your so called education is nothing but repeating others.
Isn't it?
Now give it a full stop.
You will feel much relax after this.
No more reading holy shit, No more repeating others is only your dirty mantra.
Why fill our minds with what others have been told? It may be holy and scared but it is not your OWN experience.
It may be good for them, it may be right for them or it may be right for that time when they lived and died.
And most important thing is that I don't want you to be crucified just for quoting Jesus or Socrates. You talk your own shit and then get crucified.
And one more important thing, which I would like to point out here, and also which you forget in evolution of mankind, that you have got a hundred grams of flesh which is called BRAIN. It has got network of trillions and zillions of cells, having their own individual consciousness and infinite correlation.
Many of you may like to write this important fact on your foreheads, I HAVE GOTTA BRAIN!!!
Isn't it?
Then use it dude.
It is not a store room for colleting garbage! It can also think.
Yes, your brain can think new ideas, and invent something totally new which can surprise you.
Why waste time in reading, quoting and discussing others?
Write something!
Talk something, original and virgin.
Some holy shit, so that others can read you, so that others can listen to you!
Give some sutra, give some mantra. After all this is a sign of a Buddha. Here Buddha means not Gautam Buddha but a person having his own tube light.
If you are light unto yourself, means if you are having your own tube light only then you are a qualified Buddha. Having our own light means USING our own little shitty brain.
Hmmm?
Is that clear?
Nobody can give that to you, that little sacred, holy . light!
Didn't you see that little aura around your enlightened master's face, in photographs?
Well it's actually photographer's trick, but something like that.
Ok, we learned that not a single book or Holy Scripture can give it to you. And not a single technique can give you intelligence. Intelligence can not be produced by any method or technique, however cleverly discovered by a master or guru, a technique of meditation can not liberate you.
A technique of meditation.Opps! I'm already talking on.
SECREAT THREE: Throw away that meditation
My dear lazy friend,
Good news for you.
No early morning wake ups!
Yes, throw away that meditation.
What is meditation? Isn't it continuity of mind?
I am going to meditate for twelve, fifteen years and then one day if that Old One pleases then I may become enlightened and meantime I.ll remain asshole.
This is our meditation. Isn't it?
A repetition.
And repetition makes your brain dull and mechanical. We are so dumb, somebody tells us how to seat, how to breathe, how to watch. We just follow.
Meditation is rebel.
Rebel my friend REBEL,
Otherwise who is going to crucify you?
Who is going to poison you?
Unless you are no more a rebel to society, its pattern and bullshit tradition you are not a real messiah. You are just a vegetable.
A follower.
Aren't you?
And they are telling you, meditation is to put your mind aside, going beyond mind.
Ok then one seating of meditation is enough. Why taking so much time.
Everyday you meditate and put aside your mind for a while and as soon as you finish your meditation you pick it up again, why?
Drop the mind, and be finished?
Your so called meditation is not real meditation at all; it's just a trick to continue fighting with mind to keep it alive.
If I'm wrong then stop reading, no point in wasting time.
And if you can not stop reading than I assume that you are convinced with this point.
Ok, next point, They say we are going step by step.
Step by step we are going to get free from the mind. But this is the way of mind to go step by step to be continued and never put an end, and be finished!
If one day in the future you are going to drop your mind, as your theory promises, then remember that future will never come, because meantime you will carry the same mind.
Don't you?
And whenever you will drop the mind it will be always present moment, ok?
Can you sense the logic of this point?
Then why not HERE?
And why not NOW?
And if you are going to drop your mind here and now then no technique is needed.
Because technique is TIME.
Technique is MIND.
Technique is HOPE.
Hope is FUTURE.
And Future is MIND.
As long as you are meditating your mind is expecting - something is going to happen, Nirvana, Samadhi, and that expectation is mind. That mind which was hankering for money, prestige and sex is now hankering for Nirwana, Moksha and Samadhi.
Is there any difference?
As long as you want something however sacred it may be, your mind is going to be continued, and we don't want to stop search. That is the trick of the mind.
Enlightenment is not an event which is going to happen one day in the future but it is hidden in the understanding of the tricks and ways of mind.
It is NOW! Right now you can look into the mind and confusion and become free.
Right now you can drop everything you are carrying unnecessary since ages and be finished. It is not a question of meditation. Unless your eyes become fresh and innocent how can you see Him?
As long as you are looking trough concepts, theories and beliefs how can you look into Reality?
This is the real meditation, to drop all that is rubbish. It is to empty and clean your mind.
Do not find excuses through daily routine of mediation and prayers; just be finished once and forever!
This is the test of courage and confidence!
And He is ready as soon as you make space for Him.
But we are afraid of being finished. We don't want to drop our stupidities and miseries because that's the only property we have got. Because that is the only our identity of Who am I?
Even if suddenly God comes in front of you, you will tell him wait I want to search you, please not now.
And he comes only when you are empty and clean. That is the only rule.
And if you are really with me then you will find him.
SECREAT FOUR: It is happening right now!
Here and now!
Yes you will find it, whatever you may call it, God, Nirvana or Samadhi or anything, I don't want to give it a name, and you will find it Here and Now!
God is happening right now!
God is not something static. God is life.
Life is happening right now, life is never in past or future, it's always here and now. And mind is always living in future or past, hence no meeting. Nirvana or Samadhi is here and now. It is not something that happens while you are seating cross leg and watching your bad breathing.
Please don't bring in any concepts and theories, just be here and now. If you are totally here and now then you will notice that there is no thought, there is no mind. There is no ME. The ME is nothing but the collection of all memories and hopes. This ME is the collection of thoughts and images. This ME is always moving in the past and the future. It is never in THIS moment. And as soon as you are totally Here and Now, this ME is disappeared.
At this point the observer, the observed and the process of observation is ONE.
HOLD!
Your real nature is this silent witnessing.
There is no witness which is the dead past but only 'the process of fresh witnessing..
It is as if first time you wake up from a deep sleep.
There is no mind; there is no ME (which is collection of past memories) but just a simple process of witnessing.
Is this enlightenment?
NO!
Why?
Who is going to be enlightened if there is no ME?
SECRET FIVE: Witness is NOT you
So this silent process of witnessing is the knower.
And if you look very closely you will see that this witness is NOT you.
It is existence.
It is life.
This is the secret.
It has no beginning and no end.
It doesn't have any meaning but we can give any meaning to it. It is coming from nowhere and going to nowhere. And mind can never know it because mind is just a wave in this vast space which is the knower or observer.
This silent observer is beyond time and beyond all boundaries.
And it doesn't know about your scriptures and all efforts you are doing to know it. It has nothing to do with your meditations and temples and all stupidity going on since the beginning of the universe in the name of religions.
At this point you are not enlightened but you come to understand a very important truth about yourself that when you are NOT only then IT is. You can not experience this as long as you are busy with meditation, following masters or carrying burden of dead scriptures.
It is not something which is going to happen tomorrow or in the future but it is happening right now. You are not going to become Buddha but you have to live your Buddha hood.
This can happen anywhere, and this can happen to anyone. Not in future but right now.Your efforts and clinging to gurus and books are actually not helped you but created a false identity which can be just wipe out completely in a flash but we never allow this to happen because it is a death of ego.
I am a Sanyasi, I am a Sadhak, I am following holy tradition, my master is greater than yours, peace is difficult, I must suppress sex, I must fight and I must struggle - all these thoughts are yours. And you can drop them instantly.
It is the mind.
And here comes...
SECRET SIX: You can not drop it step by step
You can not drop it step by step.
Yes this is the most serious part of all, its going to shake your ass.
You can never going to drop your mind step by step, because mind is the function which operates step by step, in TIME.
Actually mind is time. Thought is Time.
Isn't it?
Thought is always operating in time. Tomorrow is the language of the mind.
And tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow I'm going to drop my mind or after doing lots of Meditation one day there will be no mind, but how can this will be possible?
Meantime this mind will be continued.
And who is going to drop this mind?
Isn't that also mind, which wants to go beyond mind or to drop the mind?
It is not something different entity who is planning to drop the mind. It is the mind itself fooling you, and of course to your so called Gurus who are inventing so many techniques and methods to engage your mind forever in holy entertainments.
So our basic question is:
Who is going to control the thought?
It is thought itself thinking to control the thought. And this is the basis of all conflict.
The same thought indulging in violence, hatred and bad habits wants to control all this by creating a false separation, but in fact the controller is the controlled.
The controller is not something separate from that it wants to control.
So your question may be like this: Ok MG how to get rid of this shitty mind?
Ok friend don't be so much excited,
I.ll tell you...
SECRET SEVEN: Acceptance is death
Accept!
Acceptance is death.
Acceptance is death of mind. Resistance, struggle, fighting, searching, analyzing are the ways of the mind. Hoping, expecting, dreaming and living in dead past or future is the very nature of the mind.
Ok!
Let him live there in the ashes of past or future.
The end.
Don't fight; don't try to bring it back in the present.
Just leave it.
Just accept. It is there. And it is no more.
Accept whatsoever happening right now in your life. Accept every situation, every person and everything going in and around you. You don't want to change anything; you don't want to do anything, not even meditation.
Just be.
And you will see that observer and observed are not separate.
Observer is the observed.
The existence is watching itself.
And the ME with its endless search, efforts, knowledge and celibacy is no more exist.
Only that exist which doesn't have any name, or shape.
Only space is watching and everything is moving in THAT space which is the observer.
This silent observer, this space, this silence is the field of infinite potential.
Ultimately we come to know...
SECRET EIGHT: Enlightenment is NOT personal
That there is no death as there is no birth.
This silent witnessing is the very nature of the universe; it has no beginning and no end.
It is never born and it's never going to die. It's always there, silently witnessing. Nothing goes unnoticed. This silent witnessing is non-local.
It is always there.
It is not individual consciousness but universal consciousness.
Enlightenment is NOT personal.
When there is enlightenment there is no YOU. Enlightenment means finishing your own movie. Then there is no suffering.
The simple definition of enlightenment is 'the ending of suffering..
Because if there is no YOU who is going to suffer? And who is going to die? And who is going to be enlightened?
You are nothing but some universal energies crisscrossing!
Nothing big deal, huh?
Dude YOU do not exist!
Now you may ask what is the next secret..???
SECRET NINE: There is nobody inside who is going to be enlightened
Old habit!
Just old habit!
You will never understand, my dumb ass friend I already told you, that YOU EXIST NOMORE!!! So there is no point in talking about secret nine and ten, and there is no point in talking about enlightenment as there is nobody who is going to be enlightened.
Is that enough?
You drop your holy shit because it is a burden, you drop your guru because it is dependence, and you drop all concepts of spirituality and god because it is not YOUR EXPERIENCE. You drop your meditation because it gives only hope and you saw that it gives continuity to the same old mind by repetition.
In short this is the mind. And you drop your mind which was your identity.
This shitty mind was you.
Now it is finished!
Hmmm?
To see false as false is the ending of false.
To see false in your own light, however small it may be is the beginning of something new. This small light brings you total freedom.
And the freedom has no history. It is ever fresh and totally new.
You may call it enlightenment but there is nobody inside who is going to be enlightened.
Anyway the last secret:
SECRET TEN: Enlightenment is self proclaimed! Live your Buddha hood!
Now don't waste your time in thinking, analyzing and searching otherwise the old mind will return back! And you will lose your new born enlightenment, hold it dude, and hold it fast.
Nobody is going to give you any certificate for that.
Enlightenment is self proclaimed!
Live moment to moment in the present. Because in this moment there is no mind and you are one with existence. You can experience this oneness only in THIS moment. God or Life is happening this moment, be with him. Instead of running your own shitty, flop movie, become part of THAT big super hit movie which has no beginning and no ending.
Celebrate.
Dance.
Laugh.
Because the Old One is dancing right NOW!
Only when you are happy the ego is not found. If you are constantly rejoicing, celebrating and laughing then there is no need to find enlightenment and God.
If you are totally enjoying whatsoever you are doing then you are in His present, and He is present in you.
Live your Buddha hood!
The Old One Loves You.
SECRET OF ALL SECRETS:
Do not teach your shit to others!!!
There is already big conflict over what gurus and messiahs had told, so you please keep quite. Do not shout.
People are already confused, because so many paths and so many concepts about truth and reality. Now you do not introduce a new one.
Ending is the new beginning.
